Mists of Pandaria: The Only Theory Worth Considering

While I was farting around with my vanity pets, I came to a stunning realization regarding the truth about Blizzard’s upcoming Mists of Pandaria expansion.

SPOILER ALERT! PLEASE DON’T READ PAST THIS POINT IF YOU WANT TO BE SURPRISED WHEN BLIZZ MAKES THIS VERY SAME ANNOUNCEMENT AT BLIZZCON!

 

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Best Vanity Pets for DPS

A lot of people say to me “Aldous, it’s not fair that Hunters and Warlocks and Mages and Death Knights and Shamans all get permanent pets that they can keep out with them in combat while we get absolutely nothing at all!” to which I reply “Actually, I think the plural of Shaman is just Shaman and I’m not sure that they do have a pet like that, but nobody cares about Shamans so forget that noise and come listen to me as I tell you about the wonderful world of Vanity Pets!”

“Vanity Pets are just like the pets that all of those other classes have, but they are much smaller and much weaker.  In order to compensate for this downfall, they cannot be killed in combat.  That’s right, they are 100% immune to all boss mechanics.  Adding a vanity pet to your arsenal is one of the best ways to up your DPS if you’re as focused on min/maxing as I am.”

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