Best Gender to Choose for DPS

Every race comes with its own set of “racials” that gives you combat bonuses as well as other perks, but not many people realize that there are undocumented perks you also get depending on whether you choose a male character or a female character.  I’ll go through all the races now and let you know which gender you should choose to get the most out of your DPS.

Blue Elves

Female: Get free gold from horny teenagers.

Male: You look like a gigantic douchebag.

Winner: Female

Dogs

Chihuahuas: Get free gold from horny teenagers with issues.

Dobermans: +5% Bonus to Strength.

Winner: Male

Dwarves

Female: Extra privacy in cities and lowered aggro radius to mobs because nobody wants to be around you.

Male: +5% Bonus to Stamina.

Winner: Male

Gnomes

Female: Get free gold from pedos.

Male: +5% Bonus to Intellect.

Winner: Male

Goblins

Female: Get free gold from really, really twisted pedos.

Male: +5 Bonus to Intellect.

Winner: Male

Hot Elves

Female: Sometimes twirl when you jump. Only exist for RP purposes.

Musclier Female: Sometimes twirl when you jump. Only exist for RP purposes.

Winner: Tie

Normals

Female: You always look confused.

Male: +5% Bonus to Strength.

Winner: Male

Ogres

Female: Somehow uglier than female dwarves.  More likely to get hacked as a result.

Male: +5% Bonus to Strength and Stamina.

Winner: Male

Tauren

Female: +5% Bonus to Agility, Strength, Stamina, and Intellect.

Male: +5% Bonus to Agility, Strength, Stamina, and Intellect.  You exude confidence and you are the perfect combination of race and gender which all others strive to be. Everyone wants you, everyone wants to be you.  It’s not that the females are bad.  It’s just that you’re better.

Winner: Male

Trolls

Female: Trick people into thinking you’re not a troll because you don’t actually look anything like one.

Male: You have scoliosis.

Winner: Female

Zombies

Female: You have access to the best hairstyles in the game.

Male: Invincible, you cannot be killed.

Winner: Male

???? (I Have no clue what the fuck these are)

Female: You have horns on your head.

Male: You have tentacles on your chin.

Winner: Tie

So there you have it.  It appears that just like in real life, women tend to get bonuses based on their appearance while males are typically more capable.  And just like in real life, there are also exceptions to the rule.  Pretty brilliant game design on Blizzard’s part I must say, although it appears that many of the gender bonuses don’t actually have anything to do with DPS.

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