Patch 4.3 Round-up & Predictions

Wow, what a day for news.  I don’t know about you guys, but I am AMPED for all the new content Blizz announced today.  There’s no time to waste so let’s get right down to it.

New Rogue Legendary Dagger

I’m not a rogue and I don’t have a rogue so it’s hard for me to give a shit about this.  From what I understand, the legendary weapon will be a black dragon egg.  Personally I think that would make more sense as a trinket or something but whatever.

Too big and too round to be a decent weapon. I guess the spikes are okay.

No Pandas

Looks like all you idiots that were predicting Pandaren as a playable race in 4.3 were wrong.  Better luck next time, suckers.

New Heroic Dungeons

Personally, this has me the most excited.  Not only does it sound like some really cool buildup to the Deathwing raid, but it’s also the first time we get to travel through time in the game.  They’ve hinted about it in the past with factions like “Keepers of Time” and “Hydraxian Watchlords” but this time we actually get to go through time with them.  How badass is that?

I’m hoping that they do something cooler with how we enter these dungeons.  Portals are old news, they’re BORING.  If you’re travelling through time then you need something different.  My prediction is that we will have to do some attunement quests with the Watchlords to get time travel wristwatches that we can activate whenever the full group is ready.  Ooh, or maybe hats like in Mighty Max.  Remember that show?  That was cool.

Early boozekin prototype.

As for the dungeons themselves, Endtime is the first one and it really sounds like we’re finally going to get some answers out of it.  The first 2 bosses in the dungeon are randomly selected from 4 potential bosses (and 3 of them are chicks so it should be pretty easy).  You’ve got Silvanas (leader of the zombies), Tirande (leader of the elves), Jania (leader of the humans) and Baine (leader of the tauren).  Apparently in the future these are the only factions left and they are all evil.  But how did they get that way?  Well, humans and elves are easy, they’ve always shown up as attackable in the game so they’ve just stayed evil like that. Zombies I guess could go bad without much trouble, that makes sense.  But what about Baine?

Ever since Cataclysm arrived, Baine’s father Carne has been mysteriously absent.  We haven’t seen him hanging around in Thunder Bluff or in Orgrimmar and instead Baine has taken over as leader of the tauren.  My theory is that Baine murdered his own father and took control of Thunder Bluff without anyone knowing.  And that’s why he’s evil now.

After you kill those evil dudes, you get to move on to Deathwing himself.  I’m not sure why you have to kill him in the future since you’re just gonna go do it in the past again.  It looks like it involves some kind of poison because you see him throwing up on top of a cool looking building.

"Blaaaaaaaargh"

I don’t know anything about the second dungeon because the description was filled with so many stupid apostrophe-filled elf names that I couldn’t pay attention and I stopped reading.  Like Por’theron and Verath’lon or something dumb like that.  Seriously, who thinks of this shit?

Anyways, the third dungeon has no elves so this one’s okay.  It doesn’t seem quite as exciting as the first one though.  I guess you’re still in the future but Thrall is with you now and you’re going to kill some priest?  Whatever, this is boring, let’s move on.

New Raid

I am going to KILL this fucking elephant-head tentacle-arm starfish man and I am going to TAKE HIS TUNIC.

You're going down, punk.

MARK. MY. WORDS.

Also there’s a large crab person that lives in here.  That’s pretty much all you need to know about the raid.

Looking for Raid

Nothing ever goes wrong with the Dungeon Finder and I have always found myself grouped with players of similar gear and skill levels.  I can only assume that the Raid Finder will operate in the exact same way, just on a larger scale.

The Dark Moon Fair

The name just makes it sound like it has something to do with those werewolf people.  That doesn’t interest me at all so I didn’t bother reading about this.

Dress up like a werewolf or some shit at the Dark Moon Fair!

Transmogrification

So the initial description I read was that Blizzard is going to give us the option to pay gold to make our gear more like other gear.  That sounded pretty cool like maybe there might be a cool proc from an old weapon and you want to add it to the weapon you’re using now.  I could go for that.  But from reading about it in more detail, it sounds like it’s not going to change any stats or improve the item in any way, it’s just gonna make it look like something else.  People are going crazy about this feature though, so I’m probably missing something.

Void Storage

I already have a bank but now I have a bank that makes me pay every time I deposit or withdraw something?  I’ll pass.

Tier 13 Sets

The shaman set looks like a hobo crawled out from inside a dumpster and just covered himself with anything he could find in order to prepare for the cold, hard winter ahead.

AND I FUCKING LOVE IT.

Bumfights.

The rest of them are not that important.  Mages get time travel goggles, Druids get whatever, Warriors get

OH SHIT Brewfest just started gotta go.