Yeah! It’s Christmas! Or Winter’s Vale! Or something, I don’t know. This year instead of queuing up to kill a boss every day for a chance at a pet, you get to fly out to Alterac every day and save Chris Metzen for a chance at a pet. I’ve heard a lot of people saying that this is difficult to solo, so I’ve decided to write a guide on how to do it.
Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there. Won’t you have a seat?
Welcome to our raid, friend. My, what lovely feathers you’re wearing all over your person. I’m glad you’ve decided to join us. We have had a strong need for a boozekin like yourself in our group and I’m pleased to see that this void is finally filled. I’ll be discussing our plans for the evening and explaining our actions as we proceed. Please feel free to interject as you see fit.
I recently had a great idea to create some really unique designs for each class in World of Warcraft. This was definitely my idea and not anybody else’s. I think I did a pretty good job because I have a lot of talent and I definitely didn’t steal these pictures or any portion of these pictures from anybody. They’re totally 100% mine. Not stolen. Did I already say that?
Don’t steal these from me. You would basically be as disgusting as that weird brain thing from Ninja Turtles if you did. Krang, that was his name. You’d be a scum-sucking, shit-eating, hog-humping Krang-face.
Click the pictures for high-quality originals.
The most glorioush holiday in all of Azeroth is upon ush… hic! Coren Direbrew is not the pushover you once remember him ash though. There are some intereshting fight mechanics that I will be covering today through a series of picturesh… hic!
Click through to see the gallery.
(Edit: I took out the shitty WordPress gallery and just slapped all the pics on the page, sorry if it’s huge!)
(Edit 2: that’s what he said)
Wow, what a day for news. I don’t know about you guys, but I am AMPED for all the new content Blizz announced today. There’s no time to waste so let’s get right down to it.
New Rogue Legendary Dagger
I’m not a rogue and I don’t have a rogue so it’s hard for me to give a shit about this. From what I understand, the legendary weapon will be a black dragon egg. Personally I think that would make more sense as a trinket or something but whatever.
A lot of people say to me “Aldous, it’s not fair that Hunters and Warlocks and Mages and Death Knights and Shamans all get permanent pets that they can keep out with them in combat while we get absolutely nothing at all!” to which I reply “Actually, I think the plural of Shaman is just Shaman and I’m not sure that they do have a pet like that, but nobody cares about Shamans so forget that noise and come listen to me as I tell you about the wonderful world of Vanity Pets!”
“Vanity Pets are just like the pets that all of those other classes have, but they are much smaller and much weaker. In order to compensate for this downfall, they cannot be killed in combat. That’s right, they are 100% immune to all boss mechanics. Adding a vanity pet to your arsenal is one of the best ways to up your DPS if you’re as focused on min/maxing as I am.”
I want to take a moment to discuss something that doesn’t come up often enough on World of Warcraft blogs and that’s the topic of finances. The inherent truth of the matter is than when you are playing World of Warcraft, you are not working. When you are not working, you are generally also not making money.
Investing changes all of that.
For those of you that are completely unfamiliar with the concept of investing, let me introduce it to you. Imagine that Farendin has just started his reforging company in Orgrimmar, but it’s just getting off the ground. He doesn’t have a whole lot of money and right now he can barely afford to pay Godan rent.
This is where you come in.
You give Farendin 1000 gold, chump change to a big baller like yourself, and Farendin agrees to give you a percentage of his profits. All of a sudden, reforging is a huge hit and you’re rolling in the dough. But there are drawbacks too. If Farendin runs a shitty company because he sucks balls then your 1000 gold is going right down the drain. You should have done some more research on his stupid concept of reforging before you just threw all that money at him.
Investing in real life works the exact same way. But what exactly is the difference between an individual stock and a mutual fund? Well, let’s say you’re too tired or stupid or lazy to actually do any research on reforging. You can pay a company like Blackrock Financial Management to do all of the work for you. They might also invest some of your money with Yelmak or Magar or Nogg but you can rest assured that they will always make a good decision and you will be making free money.
That’s how a mutual fund works, I think. I’m not entirely sure but the bottom line is that with individual stocks you will sometimes lose money and with mutual funds you will never lose any money. So go do some investing instead of wasting all that glorious potential!
Welcome friends. Sit, have a drink. I have whiskey, lots of whiskey.
This blog will be your new homepage, it’s going to be amazing. We’re gonna talk about druids, specifically the big drunk chicken types, and then we’re gonna talk about things that aren’t druids.
Give me back my whiskey, my glass is empty again.